Friday, October 28, 2011

Panicking... me?

Don't panic... Don't Panic.... DON'T PANIC!

My reflection on this week has to start with Lance-Corporal Jones from Dad's Army running frantically round the church hall telling Mr Mainwaring not to panic!
Well this week I've been doing a Jones, whilst telling others not to panic, I've been running around panicking!

Will I get this all reading done and essay plan written before the supervision? Will I actually remember anything I've read? What, I now have to write and essay too?! What has Athanasius and Maximus got to do with all this? And I'm meant to pass an exam in all of these things... gulp! Arggh!

You know how ducks look like they are having a relaxing time bobbing along on the river, but actually under the surface, they are paddling like mad just to stay in one place. That does seem a very good analogue for what I seem to be experiencing at the moment.

BUT... there is no need to panic... cos God has it sorted! Honest! I just need to keep praying!

So if like me, you are panicking... stop, take a deep breath... then 'keep calm and carry on' because you are not in this alone!

Friday, October 21, 2011

I thought Cambridge was flat, but I seem to have found a mountain!

What a week!!! This week I have learnt what it means to study in Cambridge. You may think we get an easy ride because we only have 8-week terms, but let me assure you, we don't! And the amount of  reading on my desk is well looking a little like Everest! But I do have some very lovely tutors who have shown me a good route to take up the mountain, so I'll get to the top (eventually)!

Right enough of the mountain climbing metaphors! Because I could go on all day, but unfortunately I do have things to do, like park cars!!

Anyway, when I was thinking about my blog earlier in the week, I thought I might talk about puddings. Not that I have any great theological revelation relating to puddings, just that the puddings we get at Westminster are fairly fantastic! But as I can't think of much else to say than the pudding are fantastic, it's not worth carrying on with this line of thought.

So I guess the only other challenge this week that is worth sharing is Life and Service. For those of you reading this who have absolutely no idea what this is, this is the 2-hour session we have each week where we specifically look at what it means to minister in the URC. Now over the past couple of weeks we have been presented with some quite hard hitting statistics, which not only represented decline in our denomination but in church attendance across all denominations. Not really anything surprising in that, but the challenge came when we looked at the accompaning statistics about those who don't go to church and their view on whether they would every go to church. For me this was scary, because in 4 years time my mission is to live out! And before you say, I know I've lived there before (and I still am), but in 4 years time people are going to expect me to know the answers!!

But actually when we see statistics like this, how do we deal with them? Do we ignore them because they don't reflect what's happening in our location (yes there are churches which are growing and thriving), do we ignore them because we really don't have a clue how to tackle what they're saying so its easier just to put our heads in the sand or do we try and gets are heads round them? I don't think we can ignore them, but Rome wasn't built in a day and we're not going to solve the issue of church decline just like that. But if I learnt nothing else yesterday, there is hope and there isn't just one answer.

Oh and don't forget to pray!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Question of the week: what is worship?

One of the unique things about studying in a Cambridge theological college is that my college is part of an ecumenical federation of theological colleges and institutions. This is great, not only because it is ecumenical (which we do rather like in the United Reformed Church), but it means that we get to meet and study with other ministrial students from other denominations. However, as I progress through my training, I can see that this will be a point of much reflection and possibly debate, particularly in terms of theology.

As a Federation we meet fortnightly to worship together, which when made up of Catholics, Anglicans, Methodists, Orthodox and us means a wide and varied experience of worship. This evening was such an evening and it was the turn of the Orthodox communitee to lead. Divine Liturgy, definitely an experience! Was it worship as I define worship... very possibly not, but then the Orthodox most probably think the same when they come to a service led by us.

But what is worship? How do I theologically reason how I worship compared to another Christian? Do I really need to worry about this? Will I every be able to answer any of these questions?

Maybe with it only being the second week of term I will be content with celebrating the fact that so many christians from different traditions can come together under one roof to stand before God!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Before we begin, could we just pray?

So today marks the start for week 2 of term! Yes, I know it is a Thursday and not a Monday, but just to confuse us even more than we already are, Cambridge has academic weeks that start on a Thursday! Maybe they think because the University only takes the elite, starting a week on a Thursday is not an issue, but what about us mere Ordinands who can't even seem to put things in the right day in the diary!!!

Anyway, putting that to one side, I have now experienced all the subjects which I will grapple with in the coming year: Old Testament studies, New Testament studies, Church Doctrine, Church History and ofcourse Greek! Nothing too suprising in the subject headings and all interesting stuff - even a few pictures, though not in the textbooks! I'm even getting to grips with the Greek, though that might be short lived!

Now have you ever sat in a lecture where the lecturer has stood up and said "Before we begin, I just want us to pray"? Well, maybe being at theological college I should have twigged that being that most of my lecturers are ordained, prayer might just come up one or two times and actually God is pretty central to what we're doing here, so we should be asking Him to come and join in. Well I hadn't and this revelation has really struck me this week and highlighted to me how bad we are at inviting God into what we're doing. So note to self (and anyone who is reading this that has anything to do with church) 'Don't Forget God'!

I have come to understand this week that there is so much to learn and a lot that I will experience in the next four years (some of which currently feels me with dread when I think about it). But apparently there is a plan and I just need to worry about what I'm doing today!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Week two and work has begun...

For me this week has been one which has left me feeling a little all at sea! Not because I've been punting on the Cam (which I haven't), but because I think reality has set in... I am here... I am really an Ordinand! I have spent a year preparing for this and now it is here I feel like shouting 'STOP, I want to get off!' - Am I really the right person for this? What do I have to offer?

Two questions that I expect I will ask myself numerous times over the years to come: as I sit in lectures, stand in front of congregations or sit in meetings. But as I have been reminded today, God has had a plan for me from before I was born and this is just another part of that journey with Him and I just have to have courage and take that next step.

Since starting lectures on Thursday, many of my fellow first years have said, "At last, I'm doing what I'm here for!" This is not how I would summarise my week, but it is here and I am an Ordinand and I will find the courage to take the next step and not panic that I might stumble occasionally!