So how do I feel about this?
Well, in my normal style, as I think my tutor has come to know so well over the years: I don't really know! Or do I...
Meet Henri, my third morph sculpture...
When I started to think back over my time on the living ministry programme, which is the final piece of my pre-ordination training, I came to the conclusion that the only way I might go some way to expressing where I have come to is through another sculpture. Here is a figure, who could be controversial; who speaks of insecurity; who is open to receive whilst quietly, even prayerfully, reflecting on all that they see and hear. The words of Scripture have come to cover them, some words and phrases standing out, whilst others have been interpreted to give meaning to what lay ahead in the future. What it means to live with and in the Word of God is a reality, yet causes the individual to bow their head in humility and honour of the awesomeness that knowledge holds.
The prophet Isaiah wrote: "All people are grass, their constancy is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flowers fades, when the breath of the Lord blows upon it; surely the people are grass. The grass withers, the flower fades; but the word of our God will stand for ever." (Isaiah 40.7-8, NRSV) The words of God are weighty and can cause one to crumb and wither. Yet, there is much strength, freedom and reassurance in the words of God. The fact that it was there in the beginning and will be there at the end, should prevent one from fading, and really truly enliven them.
In the past four years, in just the past nine months, I have wrestled with Scripture. I have listen for God's word and struggled to hear. Yet, as I have found myself more and more drawn into Scripture, I have come to know although I may not always hear it, God's Word surrounds me and is within me. And for this I am truly thankful, because it is this that has truly prepared me for the next phase on my journey as a Minister of Word and Sacraments.