Two weeks later...

Wow... two weeks (well almost) of being on my own in a pastorate and I survived and more importantly they survived. Two weeks ago I was loosing sleep over whether I could actually do this, and two weeks on, I'm just about back to only loosing sleep over my sermon. It has been a couple of weeks which have I guess shown me more of the reality of ministry. There has not been any one checking up on me; however people have been emailing me or coming to find me to tell me what they are doing. I realised the other day that could have spent the last two weeks watching TV and nobody would have know. Me not being in the office wouldn't phase anyone. Of course you have to deliver the service on Sunday and turn up to anything that you're expected at during the week, but other than that, the only person you appear to be accountable to is yourself.

This is something that I'm just not use to. When I was working for the NHS, my boss was pretty flexible, but we were expected to be in the office each day, unless otherwise agreed, and we did have weekly progress meetings and he'd appear every so often during the week to check up on something or other.  Then, of course, there were annual reviews. Now, annual reviews do exist within the church, as well as in college life, but weekly progress meetings or someone popping in to see how the sermon's going? I suppose you could say as ministers we are accountable to our congregations every Sunday - however, some of us could get away with spouting rubbish from the pulpit, as long as we have picked the congregation's favourite hymns.

Sometimes the only critic you have is yourself. But there is being critical of yourself and being critical of yourself. I know I am very good at putting myself and what I do down, but I also know when I could have done better or haven't put as much effort in as I could. And in ministry, this we then have to reconcile with God, for its for the good of God's kingdom we are working. It's not always going to go exactly to plan or be exactly right, and there will be weeks when however hard I try, my sermon will be far from perfect. But if I can honestly say on Sunday morning that I have at least attempt to wrest with what God's say in a text, its ok to pick the congregation's favourite hymns to cover up the interpretive mess that seems to be the resultant sermon.

Two weeks...

So another new week, week 4 of this part of my placement and now I'm on my own. I have just left my supervisor waiting for a bus, so that he can jet off to Ghana to attend a conference and visit some projects that St Columba's United Reformed Church, Cambridge, support. All will be well, and if it's not, it will soon be over!

Sat here this morning, thinking that I have pastoral charge of two congregations for two weeks, is really very daunting. Having just spent the weekend attending inductions and ordinations thinking I'm no near ready for that, whilst knowing it will be here sooner than I think, coupled with this morning's reality makes me want to hid under the desk for the next two weeks with my fingers in my ears. Alas, that is not an option, how ever much I wish it was, and at least it is only two weeks. What can go wrong in two weeks? Ok, a lot can go wrong in two weeks, but its not and if it does the opening verses of Psalm 121 come to mind:

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
   from where will my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
   who made heaven and earth.

Then I'll go banging on some doors in the hope that not everyone has gone on holiday this week.

Monday mornings...

Mondays, the day of the week very few people like. Numerous songs have been written about not liking Mondays, including the classics 'I don't like Mondays' by the Boomtown Rats, 'Rainy days and Mondays' by the Carpenters and 'Manic Monday' by the Bangles. (Hmmm... I hope that list isn't to telling of my musical tastes...) And why would anyone like Monday, because it means the weekend is over and its time to go back to work. So its no surprise that over the last few weeks I have really struggled to sit down at my desk on a Monday morning and get on with the tasks of the week. However, as a ministerial student currently on placement, Monday doesn't just mark the start of the week's work, it is also the day of the week that follows on from one of the most intense days of a minister's working week: Sunday.

Yes, I know the joke that goes ministers only work on a Sunday - if only that were true. Sunday usually comes at the end of a extremely busy week (well it does in the pastorate I'm currently working in), it is the day when you see most of the congregation, so there are a number of pastoral conversations to be had and the number of hours it takes to prepare that act of worship which is only an hour long, seems kind of ridiculous-but if you have every had to write a presentation for a conference then you might start to get the idea of what ministers have to do every week. And when you have more than one service on a Sunday, you really begin to not like Mondays.

So what should you do with Mondays? That was my question in this past week's supervision. Have it as my day off? An option, but what are day offs for? Processing Sunday's events? Possibly not, theological reflection is as much part of the job as everything else. And if issues have arisen during Sunday, leaving to them until later in the week isn't always wise. So what is the answer: Monday is not the day to start on next Sunday's services, but it is the day to clear away the past week; to tidy up the desk and do any reflection that needs doing. Of course, this is not always going to work, and its definitely not going to work this Monday, but I'm liking it as a model to strive for and am looking forward to once again liking Monday mornings.